June 1, 1998
I'm appreciatively amused by the e-mail message that Debbie sent to you and that you so graciously forwarded to me. Who titled this topic "the truth"? Consider the irony of this situation. Our old pals, dreading any semblance of truth, posing as harbingers of truth. If this dilemma wasn't so pathetic it would actually be quite humorous.
Even though we did not regard Webster, e.g., as being much of an authority on anything, save perhaps sodomy, I will be as presumptuous as to use a few descriptive nouns derived from one of those texts so that we can at least be within some acceptable parameters of common ground when using these various terminologies. Can we agree that truth is roughly defined as honesty; the real state of things; facts; the body of real events? Probably not, but I will attempt to proceed anyway under this pretense.
I know that the beloved sisters had no meaningful voice in the Coptic hierarchy. They could only repeat the great wisdom espoused by the brothers and the brothers could only mimic the party line put forth by the Niahs, thus rendering anything they may have had to offer as second hand hearsay. Unacceptable as testimony. Please correct me if I am not presenting a completely accurate account of these matters. Please call me a liar if I have misrepresented that state of affairs. So I must say that I am at least superficially pleased to see that Debbie (and I'm assuming this is Debbie H. rather than Debbie C.) has ventured forth with a skin face barb to quiet a fasty [sic] (meaning feisty) and presumptuous White European such as I. I realize no names were mentioned but I gratefully accept all of these allusions to my kind. Although I will not consider her to be fasty or presumptuous, I know that these lovely ladies are also descended from White European stock as I am and I would caution them (her) to consider exactly whom they intend to condemn lest they inadvertently include themselves in these blanked castigations.
I would also proffer that each person, male or female, must speak for themselves. I do not accept someone speaking for someone else. Thus, when I see written in this short message "Re" the truth" that "there are some amongst the brethren that have never turned back to the sins of the flesh" and yes, I do know which sins you mean, then I can only hope that you will understand when I tell you that you cannot know of a truth what someone else may or may not have done. You can only know with absolute certainty what it is that you have done of what it is that you have not done. If you tell me I have done this or I have not done that, then i can accept that as your testimony. But you must go tell some fool that some amongst the brethren have not done such and such because I know that you do not know for certain what another person may or may not have done. This only confirms that I mentioned earlier. Second hand hearsay. Unacceptable. I know, Debbie, that you think you are defending something righteous against a slanderer like me when you wrote your short message, but I only suggest to you that you reconsider the entire matter in the light of your own consciousness. You have a head to think for yourself. Perhaps you can use it to reawaken that divine love which is incapable of hating others, averse to condemnation of others. Let us leave these weighty decisions to God. If the result of this so called "louv of Goud" which you claim to know through your experiences with Niah Gordon and Niah Wells is condemnation of me or anyone else, the I tell you to keep that louv because that is not of Goud. And all of those who have not sinned do not need forgiveness or mercy or remission. Is a sin of the flesh more grievous to the spirit than haughtiness or self-righteous vanity? I cannot say. Yet I know that when we console, nurture, and cherish one another above all else we can more readily overcome the sin which has beset us and divided us. Can one member of a body glorify that it has no sores or disease when other members of that body are afflicted with a cankerous issue? Let us not allow the pharisee mentality to overtake us, saying to ourselves, "I'm glad I'm not like them" or "My heart is more pleasing to God than Jim Tranmer's filthy offering".
I would like to present this to you regarding your statement that "I just couldn't take the ungratefulness of some of you (meaning me) in your testimonies about Niah Gordon and Niah Wells. Without them you (me again) would have never known the louv of Goud". Whether or not you can accept this, I will tell you anyway. I am not ungrateful for my long and close experiences with Keith and Wally. I had as close a look at the personal lives of these guys as any of the brothers and a lot closer than most. I have not even scratched the surface of the stories I could tell about what I saw and partook of during those many years which would not be considered to be favorable in light of the fact that we claimed to be spiritual beacons to the world. I have only described in the most vague generalities the hypocrisy which we all drank up so readily. To me, this is not ungratefulness. I know it to be the truth. Unfinished in its complexity, but the truth nevertheless. Everyone pretends that I am evil for alluding to such a possibility, but I say that each one of us has a full comprehension, even though long repressed, that Keith and Wally navigated the precious vessel of sisters and brothers onto a damn reef and the vessel sunk. The purity of the mystery that Ivy gave to us will refloat itself and that seemingly endless chapter of strife which has engulfed us for so long will seem like foolishness in the light of truth. Tommy knows a whole heap. Wait till that dam busts. All that pus that poured out of his legs will seem as nothing when the old boy starts talking in the spirit again. Right now he's like an empty shell. Spouting crap like "Talk your sin" or having a Debbie vouch for his holiness. Listen, all of these old characters are going to surprise even themselves when they put off that old, dead, stinking Coptic garment and come to life again. Brothers and sisters walking hand in hand. Carl, your observation, as always, is keen and on the mark. How have you treated your sisters and brothers lately?
P.S. Please send Judy and Brian copies of this stuff. Thanks.
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