The substance of youth - the place of drugs in young people's lives today

By Perri 6, Ben Jupp, Helen Perry and Kristen Lasky, November 1997

3. Relationships

A primary focus of the research was to investigate whether drug users tend to have weaker ties to and lower trust in families than non-users, and whether drug users are more likely to be strongly influenced by the activities of the peer group.

Family
The Synergy survey found that people who have never tried drugs are somewhat more likely to be very positive about family life (they like spending free time at home, value close family ties, enjoy being committed to the family, and believe in the traditional patriarchal family). But such an outlook is rare amongst young people overall (Fig 2).

Figure 2: Percentage who strongly value family life

Source: Synergy
Note: Because this index is an aggregation of questions, the scores only indicate relative attachment among different groups (see Appendix 2)

While support for spending a lot of time with families is even lower among recreational drug users than among young people from all groups. This included those who clearly had a difficult home life. Mark (23, non-user), who is unemployed and from Wythenshawe is typical:

My father and I bonded since my mother and brother went off. Now we tell each other all about our problems and financial [troubles].

Laura (16, non-user), a sales assistant in a shoe shop from Wythanshawe said, "I trust my mum, dad and brother all the way." But she said:

I moved out because my little sister started slashing her wrists. She's fourteen. And I don't trust my cousins and aunts - they're thieves.

In fact, more recreational users reported trust and respect their families "a great deal" than non-users (Figure 3).[25]

Figure 3: Percentage expressing "a great deal" of trust in their family

Source: Synergy
Note: The difference between problem users and recreational users is significant using a 95% confidence level.

Janie (20, recreational user) is unemployed and from Leeds. She said she respects her family memebrs a lot, particularly her mother:

because she's my mum and I've been taught to respect her. She's done a lot for me and I'll always be grateful. She helped me a lot, especially when I was unemployed. Any decision I make she'll always stand by. She's more like a best friend - I can tell her anything. She knows all the drugs I've taken and pretty much everything I've ever done.

These findings are supported by the results of surveys which indicate that people remain very attached to their family, despite talk of a crisis in family life. For example, 50 per cent of women see their mothers at least once a week.[26] Over 90 per cent of people say their family is generally important to them, more than work, friends and leisure.[27]

Problem users were less trusting of their families than recreational users and non-users. Drug use was often a focus of distrust. Amy (29, problem user), an unemployed beautician from Brighton, has an 8-year-old son who lives with her aunt. She said she distrusts her family members a bit:

I'm wary of telling my aunt exactly what's going on in my life because I'm scared my aunt will go behind my back and tell social services. She knows I'm on methadone and temazepam, but she doesn't know I inject. I'm not really a bad user - once a day...but that's bad enough.

Amy also said she has less respect for her family:

because they're hypocritical in the way they don't listen to what I have to say. My auntie turns around and says, "oh, I've got a terrible hangover". She can't see that alcohol's as bad as methadone, and she used to snort speed ten years ago but she doesn't seem to relate to me at all.

More problem users and recreational drug users reported worrying "a great deal" about losing their family than did non-drug users (16 of 37 problem users, 14 of 34 recreational users and 6 of 30 non-users respectively). The cause of these fears is not simple. Drugs may exacerbate family difficulties. But other studies have found that problem drug users also disproportionately come from very difficult family backgrounds.[28] Our research found histories of social service care, special schools or extremely difficult family backgrounds among approximately three-quarters of problem users.

Friends and sociability
Synergy data suggest that people who have ever tried one of a number of drugs - including cannabis but excluding magic mushrooms - are neither more nor less 'scoiable' in outlook than the young population as a whole (reporting that they "show feelings freely", "enjoy making new friends" and "make an effort to go out and see people") (Figure 4). The few who have ever tried nagic mushrooms are likely to be less sociable.

Figure 4: Levels of sociobility are similar amongst those who have tried drugs and young people as a whole (percentage with a strongly sociable outlook)

Source: Synergy
Note: The difference between all 15- to 24-year-olds and those who have ever tried an illicit drug is not statistically significant. Because this index is an aggregate of questions, the scores only indicate relative attachment among different groups (see Appendix 2).

Synergy also found no difference in the proportions of those who had tried drugs and had not tried drugs holding a strongly independent outlook about relationships (according to questions such as whether "one can be complete as individuals without needing a partner to love").

Similarly the survey found that 'individualistic' characteristics (defined as those who say they donot always go along with waht other people want an who are not concerned about gaining approval for their way of life) are found in similar proprtions of those who have tried drugs as have not - in fact slightly more amongst the former (37 per cent) than amongst the latter (30 per cent). Other studies have suggested that users may have higher than average self-esteem and be more outgoing.[29] The Synergy survey also found that the proportion of those who had tried drugs at least once who are 'introvert' is similar to those who have not (27 per cent and 33 per cent respectively) (Figure 5). The classification of 'intovert' includes people who say they are "quiet and reserved, hard to get to know, tend to talk easily only when they know people and only talk to one person at a time within a group".

Figure 5: 'Individualist' and 'introvert' characteristics are similar amongst those who have tried and have not tried drugs (percentage strongly holding these outlooks)

Source: Synergy
Note: Because this index is an aggregate of questions, the scores only indicate relative attachment among different groups (see Appendix 2).

We have some strongly independent recreational users. Mark (24, recreational user) is a volunteer in a community centre in Brighton. He said of his friends:

They're all doing good things. They've decided what they want to do and for the most part they're doing a good job of it. They're nice and friendly. I've got wicked friends - some of the best people.

I've never really been a joiner, but I'm great with certain people - though not necessarily with whole groups.

Charlotte (18, non-user) is an art student in Leeds. She said:

If a group is already formed before you joined, it's really cliquey, and they don't realise it's hard to make friends because they already have them. You've got to slowly break your way in. Eventually you will find the right friends, but it takes time. People say "don't jump into friends". But with everyone sitting around talking you get a bit nervous. You want to talk to someone but no one comes up to you. It's hard.

Our research also found a few extremely strong-minded, independent individuals who had made a decision not to use drugs, albeit in social environments in which that was the norm. Lee (non-user, 17) from Wythenshawe said:

I ain't really got any friends. Never really had any. Have loads of mates, but wouldn't call any of them a friend. If I won a lottery ticket and they checked it, they would get the money and substitute it.

Lee was not at all introverted. He has detailed plans for setting up his own business, has managed to organise a council flat for himself and is very opinionated:

Some mates deserve respect, some don't. There's one of them who follows us around. Thinks he's hard because his dad had to have temazepam and he will sell tablets for 50p. His uncle's a dealer. He's a dickhead.

Amongst problem users, a large majority agreed strongly or slightly that "forming close relationships is usually quite difficult".[30] In a group interview, a problem user from Kingston said:

You chat to people, but it's just about drugs. You chat to other people and they just want to talk about their problems.

Another said:

Drug taking is a symptom of my life, how I grew up, what happened to me and what didn't happen to me. I have a weakness: I feel that I've got to be liked.

A repeated theme of converstaions with problem users was their sense of social stigmatism. On euser from Brighton expressed this as:

You could be talking to someone in a pub, and everything is going fine, they think you are all right, but if you mention that you are a drug addict, all of a sudden their whole attitude would change.

Support in a crisis
By comparison with non-users, recreational and problem drug users were more likely to be those who said that, in a crisis, they would consult someone other than friends of family (Figure 6).[31]

Figure 6: Who respondents would consult in a crisis

Source: Demos
Note: The differences between the proportion of problem users and both the non-users and the recreational users who would consult 'friends' in a crisis and between non-users and both the problem users and the recreational users who would consult an 'other' in a crisis are significant at the 95% confidence level.

Tom (17, recreational user) from Wythenshawe, is on a bricklaying course and wants to start his own business. But although he talked about his own family a lot, Tom said that in a crisis he would consult his social worker:

I'd go to my social worker and say that Im in trouble. Whatever happens, she says, "I won't say anything".

Darren (22, recreational user), also from Wythenshawe, has three children and works as a hod-carrier on a building site. He brought his 3-year-old child to the interview and his history shows the sort of elements that can lead to support being sought from people other than friends and immediate family:

I left school at 15 and was in and out of gaol from then until 21. I was in and out of (children's) homes as well...When I was 13 or 14 I had no feelings for my parents. I want [my] kids to be different.

My grandparents were different and I respect them more...They wouldn't say anything I told them to anyone else. I can leave money with them or tell them if I'm in trouble with the police. Then they'd stick up for me, as long as I told them about it. [I respect them] for being there when I was small. They brought me up. My mum and dad didn't do a good job. They didn't give us any attention. My dad just used to hit my mum. Sometimes it was her fault, for coming in drunk. It was a no-win situation for any of us.

Darren said he respects his friends, but that in a crisis he would consult:

no one - I keep it bottled up, or I get a beer and take it out on someone else. That's the way it happens around here. It takes your mind off things.

Half of the non-users we spoke to said they would consult parents or other family memebrs in a crisis (compared to a third of recreational users and only 1 in 8 problem users).

Elizabeth (21, non-user), a student in Leeds, said:

My family is always telling me to have confidence in myself and get whatever I want in life. My father's always behind me one hundred per cent.

Joanna (24, non-user), a teacher in Brighton also said she would consult her family in a crisis. She said:

They [all] provide advice that's for me, given because they think I need it, not because it's what they want to say. And it's from a good knowledge base of me, the same goals.

Conclusion
Young people in general are not keen on spending a lot of time with their family, and those who have ever tried drugs are still less so.

However, the research findings refute the idea that young people, including young drug users, have and want weak ties with their families. Most say they trust and respect their family greatly. The role of the family should therefore be considered closely in local drugs strategies.

Some families were the main source of emotional support to problem users. We spoke to a few whose families were arranging for them to stay with relatives in a different part of the country in order to escape a drug-taking environment. However, the research did find a history of dysfunctional family backgrounds that made their families a less likely source of the range of support that problem users need.

The weakness in many problem users' family support networks is compounded by the weak ties of friendship binding most problem users - usually to other problem users. Most problem users reported that they had few true friends and felt stigmatised from the wider non-using community. Since informal social networks with people in work are often crucial in finding employment, the lack of such ties among many problem users creates an extra hurdle.[32]